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Female Ejaculation:
Debunking the Sexual Myth

by Tamar Love

With the publication of The G Spot in 1982, everyone's attention became focused on this tiny little organ, otherwise known as the urethral sponge, that every woman was reported to have. We were told that pressing a woman's love button the proper way could cause everything from intense orgasms to frissons of delight. But did you also know it can cause showers? Many women claim that through clitoral, vaginal and/or G-Spot stimulation, they can actually ejaculate. No, it's not an urban legend. But is it biologically possible?

What is female ejaculation?

Although we just started talking about it in the 1980s, women have been purportedly ejaculating for centuries. Unfortunately, like the G-Spot, the female ejaculatory organs aren't visible during medical examination or research autopsy, so scientists are reluctant to believe in the phenomenon. Tell that to the millions of women who have had this intense sexual experience! But because we cannot scientifically prove that female ejaculation exists, we cannot discuss it with the same scientific certainty as we can other biological phenomena, such as male ejaculation, pregnancy and menstruation. We can only observe, share our stories and speculate.

However, we are confident about a few things. Female ejaculation is a release of fluid from the Skene's glands, which surround the urethra and are similar to the male prostate. This fluid is similar in chemical makeup to the fluid produced by the male prostrate, and is in no way related to urine. As some women "release" during climax, they also ejaculate this fluid. Think of it this way: in the time leading up to orgasm, women tend to tense their bodies, including their vaginal walls and—through sheer proximity—their bladders. Women who practice Kegels often have more control of the ability to tighten and relax their vaginal muscles at will. As a women begins to reach orgasm, her body tightens completely, preventing anything from "leaking out." After she hits the plateau, her body releases and she experiences sudden muscular relaxation; everything she was "holding in" is now free to come out, including lubrication, ejaculation and small amounts of urine.

While most women experience an expulsion of lubrication—you may notice that you get "wetter" after you have an orgasm—and others leak a small bit of urine, some women ejaculate the fluid from their Skene's gland, sometimes a few unnoticeable drops, sometimes a slight trickle, and sometimes a forcible stream that has its own trajectory. This is female ejaculation.

How much comes out?

Anywhere from a few drops to a few tablespoons, depending on your body.

What does it look like?

It's not urine and it's not lubrication. Like sperm, female ejaculation can vary in color and thickness. However, it's usually clear, milky and relatively odorless, with a watery consistency. Again, like male sperm, the taste of female ejaculation can vary from bitter to sweet according to diet, water consumption and a host of other environmental and biological factors.

Are you sure female ejaculation isn't just urine?

Although urine and female ejaculation are both passed through the urethra, urine originates in the bladder and ejaculation originates in the Skene's glands. However, since the Skene's glands are the size of a pea, it's unlikely that women who ejaculate more than a teaspoon of fluid are ejecting pure ejaculation. It's far more likely that the small amount of fluid from her Skene's glands is mixed with some urine, producing the larger quantity. But that's not a problem—read on...

But what if I pee?

Many women who become sexually aroused—especially during G-Spot stimulation—feel as if they are going to lose control of their bladders. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense: when you're applying pressure to your G-Spot, you're actually tickling your urethral sponge. This sensation may become stronger during or just prior to orgasm. Some people believe that unless a woman's pubococcygeus muscle is weak, it's very unlikely she will urinate during sex. However, the reality is that over 50% of women will urinate during sex at least once in their lifetime ... so there is actually a fair chance that you will pee. But even though it might be embarrassing, there's nothing wrong with a little urine—it's is sterile and can't hurt you unless you consume it. Talk to your partner about it and make sure he or she understands what's going on. If you're both prepared, you should weather the storm just fine.

Why would I want to ejaculate?

Because it feels good! We're not sure why, but when liquid passes through the urethra during orgasm, it usually causes a more powerful and intense orgasm. Consider Tantric sex: In this Eastern sexual practice, men teach themselves to delay ejaculation, allowing them to climax several times before ejaculation finishes off their erection. Even though this prolonging activity can allow men (and hopefully their partners!) to experience multiple orgasms, many men report that their orgasms are not as intense as when they experience simultaneous orgasm with ejaculation. The same can be said for women and ejaculation. For some reason, the proximity of the urethra to the vagina opening can cause women to experience the same intense climax that men feel with liquid rushes through their penises. Perhaps it's just one more "exploding" sensation added to the mix—whatever the case, the consensus is that it feels good and it doesn't hurt anything.

I'm a woman and I've never ejaculated – am I normal?

Absolutely! Not every woman can—or wants—to ejaculate. Some women don't enjoy the sensation of needing to urinate, which can accompany G-Spot manipulation and ejaculation. Some women don't want to go through the effort that may be required to experience ejaculation. Some women are embarrassed and don't want to risk urinating during sex. Many women simply don't know how to ejaculate—or that they even can! Your body can only do so much: some women ejaculate, others don't. If you are in the latter group, don't worry about it too much. Your body can do lots of other interesting things that feel great!

Your G Spot

Although women have reported experiencing ejaculation during clitoral and vaginal manipulation, many women seem to feel that the G-Spot is the place to be if you want to ejaculate. So before you experiment with female ejaculation, you might want to figure out where your G Spot is. Consult this handy chart, then try some manual exploration.

Can I teach myself to ejaculate?

That's a good question. Some people think yes, others say no way. While there's been a great deal of publicity, there hasn't been a whole lot of research on the subject of acquiring the skills to experience female ejaculation. In other words, science doesn't have a definitive answer. But most sexologists agree that you can teach yourself to have more powerful orgasms, which may in turn lead to ejaculation. You might try the following:

• Read up on G-Spot stimulation. Once you have a good grasp of where it is and what to do with it, you're ready to begin. Keep in mind that some women experience ejaculation through clitoral or vaginal stimulation alone. However, many women will need direct stimulation to the urethral sponge to achieve ejaculation.
• Many women find G-Spot stimulation easier and more pleasurable in positions other than on their backs. Try rolling over on your stomach or getting on all fours.
• Engage in whatever foreplay you find arousing: touching, kissing, stroking, oral sex, talking ... whatever works for you. G-Spot stimulation and female ejaculation should come at the middle or the end of your sexual play, not at the beginning.
• Use lubrication when you're ready for digital penetration, even if your body is already producing lubrication.
• Start slow: insert your fingers gently and use soft, gentle motions at first. When you feel the G-Spot area becoming enlarged, use more pressure. Remember to keep paying attention to other parts of your body: your breasts, your clitoris ... whatever feels good.
• As your body begins to respond positively and you start feeling pleasure, use more pressure and more rapid motions. As you continue to stimulate the G-Spot, you may feel your vagina clench and bear down, the signal that orgasm is imminent. Apply more pressure to the urethral sponge, stroking and manipulating the area around the urethral opening.
• You may feel the urge to urinate. Don't fight it! You are probably getting ready to ejaculate. If you try to "hold your water," you will end up preventing the ejaculation. Relax, trust your body and your partner, and see what happens.

The first time you try to ejaculate, you might be embarrassed or nervous. It's okay. You are doing something new. As you become more experienced, you will develop more control over your body and will likely experience more frequent and intense ejaculation. If you can't seem to get the hang of it, don't worry ... you can always try again. Try not to have too high expectations, though. If your body doesn't want to ejaculate, it won't. But you can still have a good time trying!

Remember...

Don't get to focused on achieving or causing female ejaculation. While experimenting with different sexual practices can add zest to your sex life, sexual experiences should never be "goal oriented." They should be enjoyed for what they are: the close communion of you (or your partner) with your body. Sex is all about pleasure, intimacy and enjoyment, not hard work.

Read More

G-Spot Manipulation
Female Ejaculation: What It Is and How to Do It
Do Women Ejaculate?
The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot
Lube Revue: the Definitive Guide to Slippery Sex
The Art of Sensual Massage
Sex Toys Explained
Masturbation
Increasing Vaginal Muscle Tone
The G-Spot

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